• Thank you, Dominika, for the kind comment, and that very valuable feedback about showing more complexity in Reshma’s feelings. That will take some more re-working of the story, and I’ll keep it in mind for whenever I decide to publish it.

  • This is good, Rebeca! I like the irreverent tone you gave the avatar of your protagonist 🙂 I kind of guessed it would be her husband, but it was fun waiting for the final reveal. In a way, it’s kind of sad, this situation where each is searching for something beyond what they have.

  • A very well-told story! I liked how you unraveled the mystery through the conversation, peeling off one layer at a time.

    I couldn’t figure out one thing though – did ‘Father’ know of Becky’s identity or not? Also, in this part, when you write “I associate everything that fell apart and I lost, with this girl.” perhaps it would sound better as “I…[Read more]

  • Bhavna, this is beautiful, and a story that gently tugs at the heart. It flowed very well, and you got the dialogue and descriptions just right. Like Ben, I too found the paragraph about the Grandpa and Father a little confusing – maybe you can make a small stand-alone episode of that part with the narrator’s father describing it to make it easier…[Read more]

  • There’s something haunting about this story, Sudha. You created a grey area that to me seemed to be growing darker by the moment, as your narrator struggles with her deep fears. I caught a streak of something dark in the descriptions of Gary and was unable to see it as humorous. The narrator’s actions too are questionable, and I liked the way you…[Read more]

  • Hi,
    This is an intriguing read, and you threw me headlong into the world and dangerous lives of con artists. Your descriptions of the main character brooding in a place of natural beauty evoke a sense of calm that feels like it’s happening before the storm comes.

    I understand that one can’t show everything upfront in a story based on this…[Read more]

  • Thank you, Nelia, for the feedback. Something happening to Mummyji – ah, I didn’t think of that 🙂 Yes, I was trying to show how Reshma was modeling good behavior for her child, so its good you picked up on that!

  • This is a really good ghost story, Linda, and it sounds like Francesca and Simon are in for a tough time. Even the shopkeeper seems quite mysterious. I liked your descriptions about the flower garden turning into weeds, and the chair drawn up to the table. Do you plan to continue this story?

  • Thank you so much, Nicole, for the great feedback. I’m happy you liked the way I portrayed Reshma, because I tend to have my characters model behavior that’s strong although it may not be the easy thing to do, and some readers wonder if such people really do exist 🙂

  • Thank you, Laurie. I went looking for your story to read, but you haven’t posted one in August?

  • Hello, Bryan, and thank you for your feedback. I’m not a native speaker of English, so yes, perhaps the way I write is not very clear sometimes 🙂 but I’m glad your persevered and could relate to that complex relationship.

  • Thank you, Gold, for reading and leaving your thoughts. I’m glad you could see optimism in the story and hope for their future.

  • Thank you, Bhavna, for catching the picture I tried to paint of the main character. Ah, I had to push the husband out of the story to meet the word count 🙂 Thank you for sharing your feedback.

  • Thank you so much for reading and the kind words of appreciation!

  • Hi Sudha,
    Yes, you’re right in your assessment of their domestic arrangement. I did wonder at how the twist would play out; having Reshma getting stern would have been good for her actually, but as you say, been out of character within the range of this story. I’m lucky enough to have a mother-in-law who is the total opposite of the one in this…[Read more]

  • Thank you, Linda, happy you liked this story!

  • Thank you, Susan, for all the appreciation. I’m happy to know what exactly appealed to you in this story. I wasn’t sure if the twist would work, so I’m thrilled to have you call it ‘clever’. Point about ‘in’ instead of ‘since’ noted – this is something I struggle with always 🙂

  • As usual, great story-telling, Susan, with the events flowing at just the right pace to keep the reader thoroughly engaged. I liked the way you wove in multiple layers of “misunderstood” and from Amy’s reaction to the way Tom took her words, I got the feeling that she had misunderstood her own expectations from the conversation. The ending did…[Read more]

  • Catherine, this was a great follow-up to the previous story with Kimberly and Zaks. You are filling in all the background info piece by piece, and I loved how you give character to everyone in the story – even the dog!

    I didn’t understand what you meant to convey by this – Kimberly shifted in her seat, a jolt of apprehending”…did you mean to…[Read more]

  • This was lovely, Ellen! I loved this device of a story within a story and the two merging together – you should tell me if there’s a word for this 🙂 – a kind of reversal of what you did by explaining words in the tale.

    I don’t really enjoy fantasy but I love your work, and this story had a very visual element to it – I could actually see the…[Read more]

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active 4 weeks ago
Short Story Points balance: 7
Poetry Point balance: 2