fbpx
  •          The execution for the witch had failed. A rainstorm came at the worst hour to prevent the immolation as had been planned. The witch was put back in custody.

              Astor ran home faster than he h […]

    • That was a fun story, Renee. You pulled me into the story right away, and grew my interest as the story unfolded. I liked Astor’s determination, his desire and need for magic, and I especially liked the ending, when he accepted the witches words and asked for her smarts instead. I found your tale to be quite enjoyable, thanks for sharing.

  • Cute story, and I love the fable-type feel that it has. It makes me wonder what the man who lived there was thinking. Was it true that he didn’t like the spiders anymore because they weren’t catching flies?
    It might be interesting to bring him back in to the story. Maybe he destroys mom’s web, vut leaves Clav’s alone.
    All in all, good story though!

  • A touching story. It makes me angry for the character, and for everyone who has been subject to this kind of fraud.
    I really like the imagery of the wolves, and how they themselves can be deceptive.
    Great story!

  • This story was great! I loved the imagery you brought here. As others stated, I can really taste that cigarette and feel what the character is feeling.
    I also love the idea of carrying around memories in your purse. I agree that some of the sentences could be a little more concise, but in general, I saw the piece as very well written.

  • I enjoyed reading this part of the story. It was a good, important piece of information.
    It was interesting how you brought in reasons for the characters to talk about the world and give information. I would also caution, though, to make sure and stay away from the “As you know, Bob” dialogue. It was a little too close to that.
    What other ways…[Read more]

  • Thank you for reading! The idea behind it was that this was a being that had grown in a refrigerator from food that had been left in there too long. Have you ever heard people refer to the food that has gone moldy or start to grow things on it as a “science experiment” in the fridge?
    It was interesting to see how you interpreted it, and helpful to know.

  •          I wake up in the cold dark, surrounded by stale bread. It takes an eternity to free myself from the containment, and I am rewarded with an even colder, hard plastic surface. The smell of organic materia […]

    • Wow! I loved the imagery in your story, Renee, and the spirit you gave your “science experiment”! Am I correct in assuming it’s a worm ? Quite a thinker, this one 🙂 That last sentence is so sad and yet, so beautiful, too. Thank you for your story.

      • Thank you for reading! The idea behind it was that this was a being that had grown in a refrigerator from food that had been left in there too long. Have you ever heard people refer to the food that has gone moldy or start to grow things on it as a “science experiment” in the fridge?
        It was interesting to see how you interpreted it, and helpful to know.

    • Dear Renee, this is such an excellent and unique interpretation of the prompt! Loved it! I really enjoyed the angle and perspective from which your story is told, and unfolding it in such a mysterious manner worked so well! The story is intriguing and makes you put your thinking cap on!

      Here and there I thought you might have been a bit repetitive, for example mentioning twice that sustenance is in abundance, only two paragraphs apart. There is also a sentence or two that doesn’t flow well grammatically, but nothing serious that distracted from the story.
      Hope to read more of you! 😉

      • Thank you Riana! I’ll keep in mind the repetitive nature of some of the sentences for the future. Glad that you enjoyed the story. Yeah I was playing a little with the grammar since it was a creature that had just been created. Glad it didn’t distract too much.

  • This story was really interesting. Being spontaneous can be interesting, but terrifying at the same time. Who knows what will happen now? It could be one of the best things in her life. Doesn’t make it any less scary, though.
    Great story.

  • Hi James. No it isn’t part of a larger story, but I see that it might be. I’m using this platform to explore different ideas and see what ones I want to expand. I’ll keep this one in mind!
    Thanks for the suggestions. I made those changes.

  • Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll keep it in mind for future stories to keep the language in mind as it relates to the piece. Thanks for reading!

  • Funny story! I really like the dialogue. I can really imagine Polly’s voice as she greets Milton in the morning. Fun ending too.

  • I’m glad to see you’re continuing the story. Yes it’s really interesting to see how Ana is responding to the gift that Kit gave her. I like the way you have her analyze how she’s going to eat the banana, and then she goes ahead anyway and takes a big bite.
    I’m curious to see where the story will go next.

  •        The pen wrote unaided in a flourish as the coven concluded their conversation about the next new moon. It slowed as they came to a quiet.       High Priestess put on her spectacles and leafed through wha […]

    • I nice short story, well on the theme of Agenda. I enjoyed it, thank you. Can I assume it is part of a larger story? If not, it should be.

      I’d look at these two sentences…

      On the canvas stood ten essential topics that had been organized using magic from the large tome of minutes that the pen had recorded. A long sentence, with ‘that’ used twice and without pauses. I’d consider… On the canvas stood ten essential topics, organized using magic from the large tome of minutes which the pen had recorded.

      Each of the sisters each still had their own agenda, but they were more understanding of everyone else’s as well. I think there is a typo here, and the second ‘each’ isn’t needed. It reads better with it removed.

      Thank you for sharing. James

      • Hi James. No it isn’t part of a larger story, but I see that it might be. I’m using this platform to explore different ideas and see what ones I want to expand. I’ll keep this one in mind!
        Thanks for the suggestions. I made those changes.

    • A lovely little magical story. Agree if it is not, could easily be part of a larger piece.
      I loved the mood you created but personally found some of the language or words used did not always fit the feeling of the piece. The word ‘topic’ felt jarring, perhaps matters or concerns would have been more fluid? For yell which was used twice maybe declare, cry out or utter.
      These are slight issues and overall I enjoyed the story and do hope to read more! Thank you.

      • Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll keep it in mind for future stories to keep the language in mind as it relates to the piece. Thanks for reading!

    • Hi Renee,
      What a fun take on the theme, Agenda. I was surprised that Witches deal with the same nonsense as businesses and corporations. I was hoping toward the end that the high priestess would turn them all into Newts, but I’m glad the sisters came around over time. I enjoyed reading this and give you props for a fun interpretation. Keep writing. Best! Laura

  •            Cindy stared at the dark ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Her mind wandered to all of the things that Mom and Dad might be doing.

                They probably ate ice cream.

                […]

    • Hi Renee …I thought this might turn out to be a little weird, but it was cute and innocent!! Nicely done!

    • I like that she finds them doing their thing and she was still convinced she missed something! That’s my favorite part that it didn’t involve changing her conceptions of the glorious existence that is adulthood. I like that the secrets I’m finding in these prompts are not as dark as I thought (I say this but mine was a little dark, ha) thanks for this.

    • How quiant a quiet little picture that’s turner out to be! 😁☕
      Thank you for sprinkling a little innocence on us. I agree with Beth re the ending — well done! 🤪👍🏻

  •            “Hey, Sadie, come here.” Tara waved her sister from across the room.

                Sadie looked up from her iPad and pulled the headphones out of her ears. “What?”

                “Co […]

    • What a great story. I really enjoyed it. It reminded me of these online fortune tellers, horoscope and tarot readers.

      Well done

      Shae

    • At first I thought this story started too far back but I like how it set up things between the sisters. And wow, don’t these things escalate quickly! And their slow changeover to belief. I liked this very much. Thanks for sharing.

  • Very interesting story! I love the concept of the sandpipers, as well as the idea of how dreams could be interpreted different ways.
    I agree that it was a little dense at times, and could use some pruning of excess. You do, however, do a good job of “show don’t tell”.
    All in all, a delightful story.

  •            “Please elaborate for me what this means.” Dad held up the report card. It showed a long list of mostly As with the occasional B. The one that stood out was the large F next to gym class.

          […]

    • Hi Renee,
      What a great twist at the end. I was completely taken by surprise. 🙂 Well done.

      – Ismael

    • Hi Renee, you had me really ‘feeling’ for the young girl…..her being unaccepted, having lost her mother…. i liked her father’s copassion and then the twist and you left me laughing.

    • Hey Renee and howzit? Very cool writing and the twist in the tale (sorry 😀) was pretty awesome. Total confusion form the penultimate line was followed by full understanding and much respect for that great last line. Well done and best regards, Seyi

  • Interesting story! I like the descriptions of all the characters. Wish I knew more about what had happened that she was trying to fix, and who “he” is.
    Thanks for the story!

  • The title pulled me in as well.
    This is such an interesting story. I love the idea behind and android trying to explain better what it means to be human. I wish there was a little more explanation of what Kit is. There’s so much to this story and this world!

  • Exciting story! You do a good job of keeping it interesting. You also do a good job of keeping it engaging even if you don’t already know the previous part. I look forward to reading more and plan to look back and read more of this story.

  • Load More

Renee Shurilla

Profile picture of Renee Shurilla

@bunniebunn

active 2 months, 1 week ago
Short Story Points balance: 0
Poetry Point balance: 0