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  • Thanks so much India! So glad you enjoyed it.

  • Misunderstood by Kathleen

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    Misunderstood, my ass! Liz said to herself as she slammed down the phone, rushing out of the office, not taking time to tell anyone what was going on. She jumped in her car and was […]

  • Kathleen and Profile picture of ClaireClaire are now friends 3 months, 1 week ago

  • Hi Zainab,
    Could you point out any errors, please.
    Glad you liked it. I wasn’t sure if I was over editing it as I had sent it through other authors and an editor.
    Did I miss a tense??

    I’ll worry if I don’t know what I missed. And I’m going to share this on my website.

    One other thing, could I use your ‘This was indeed a gripping…[Read more]

  • Author by Kathleen Osborne
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    Standing off stage, Judith fingered the tube of red lipstick. Definitely not her color. As a cast member of the show ‘Red Lipstick’ she’s being told to wear it. Putting it on screa […]

    • Wow, with such a little word for this month, you have cramped so much good stuff in here. I want to read more. I love murder mystery.

    • This was indeed a gripping mystery. Though it did need a round of editing, it still gripped my attention.

    • Hi Zainab,
      Could you point out any errors, please.
      Glad you liked it. I wasn’t sure if I was over editing it as I had sent it through other authors and an editor.
      Did I miss a tense??

      I’ll worry if I don’t know what I missed. And I’m going to share this on my website.

      One other thing, could I use your ‘This was indeed a gripping mystery.’ on my site with it?
      Thanks
      Kathleen

  • Hi Dionne,
    Actually I had a cause of death in there at the beginning but had to cut some things because of the allowed length, hence it was left for when the medics and others came in. I just wish I knew how to put more in information in with a limit of words. lol
    My self-justification is that I’ve only been writing short stories for a month.…[Read more]

  • Thanks Michael!
    Fixed them both and submitted it for the contest.

    Kathleen

  • “Dickie get your ass in here,” said Jonas Wines.

    “Yes, sir!” Dickie smirks, sauntering to the kitchen table and chairs. Pulling out a chair, plops in it.

    “Is everything set to fix our cash flow problems? […]

    • Great pace and I love how he’s regularly flummoxed by things that don’t go right for him.

      Two minor things:

      1. This sounds like the gun can’t be trusted… “I never give someone a weapon I don’t trust” – perhaps move the words ‘a weapon to the end.

      2. I didn’t read anywhere how the owner died, and it niggles. Heart attack? Shot (but the police would have heard it)? Hit his head? What happened? It’s a loose end.

      Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks Michael!
      Fixed them both and submitted it for the contest.

      Kathleen

    • It moves fast! You’ve really kept the pace up, and it makes for a quick read. My only real recommendation would be to add some additional description of the location, events, characters, etc. Sometimes it feels like the story is taking place in white room. What does the jewelry shop look like? Are the victims panicking, crying, scared, etc? The story itself is great, but the world felt a little bland at times. Great work!

    • Enjoyed the convergence of the two random random groups of people meeting at the one shared event, well done. I enjoyed the pace, and the dialogue for the most part, sounded natural and flowed well. Thank you for sharing

    • Fast pace, some good bits of action but i question how the owner died? This has the makings of a really great story I think it just needs another round of edits and a bit more information.

    • Hi Dionne,
      Actually I had a cause of death in there at the beginning but had to cut some things because of the allowed length, hence it was left for when the medics and others came in. I just wish I knew how to put more in information in with a limit of words. lol
      My self-justification is that I’ve only been writing short stories for a month. Soo…. improvement is happening. This was one of my first attempts.
      Kathleen

  • Kathleen's profile was updated 5 months, 1 week ago

  • Kathleen joined the group 5 months, 1 week ago

Kathleen

Profile picture of Kathleen

@kaosborne1

active 2 months, 1 week ago
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